Friday, July 30, 2010

That feeling came to me again...

Friday, July 30, 2010
I really really need somebody to tell what's going with me?
No matter how much effort I put in, the results are always dissappointing..
Every time I got the low results for any subject,
the feeling of embarassment will make me dun wan to face those high score students,
the feeling of dissappointed will make me down,
the feeling of upsets will make me feel that all my effort will not come out in good results,
I dont know what to do..

I had this kind of feeling quite often recently.
Since last few sem, I dont know what going on..
I know what I've studied, but when the question paper is in front of me,
I dun know even what the question is asking..
Before that I dun face any this king of problems in my study,
but nowadays, I'm just like those who taught 100 times but still dun understand,
I'm just like those who dun even bother about the studies,
I'm just like those who dun wan past in the exam and let them be..

I really feel embarassing when face my friends,
as I am not who I am before..
I'm now face a lot of problems in my study,
I dont know who I'm going to ask..
I believe that even I asked lecturers or tutors, I'm sure that I still dun understand.
and even I understand at that moment, at the next moment, I will totally forgotten what they told me few seconds ago..

I've told my problems to one of my friend, despite she said I'll do better next time,
but still I cant manage to reach my target..
Although I've told myself so many times that,

I must do better next time..
I wanted to win or beat those who beat me this time,
I wanted to be proud in front of my friends and especially the most important is SHE...
But, I think I'm fated to be a failure in my university's life,
my dream to continue my study in overseas broken..

OMG!! Maths was the subjects that I'm proud of..
and now I started wondering if I've made the wrong choice at the beginning..
Should I just give up?
I've already tired of feeling embarassing and do not dare to face my friends..
as I'm once the one they asked a lot..
I really really dun know what to do...

Does anybody can tell me, what should I do?

1 comments:

Anonymous said...

做好事,不需要給人知道,雖然只是一件微不足道的事,但我相信,這會帶給我快樂。..................................................

Post a Comment